today is easter and

i'm not exactly sure what that means. i was not raised in a religious home at all. we didn't even do the obligatory 2 visits per year (easter and xmas).... which i actually appreciate. my parents, being from Mexico, went wayyyy outside of the box on that one. my mom has defnitely instilled in us the ability to respect, and even admire, other religions, but never made us do anything we didnt want to...

so for Easter we normally cook out, drink, crack cascarones and sometimes play poker. this year however, feels a little different. nobody is really in the mood to be around people... especially not me. i've been thinking about my falling out w/ my sister a lot recently. i miss her so much. i wish things were different. i wish i hadnt put her on a pedestal, because she's not perfect. i wish we never traded money. i wish she never married her abuser. most of all though, i wish we were still friends. i trusted her more than anyone else in my family (besides my bad-ass mother, of course), and i can't believe how things went down. its not like us to have a falling out.

today i'm very sad. i think it has a lot to do with one of my best friends being sad too. heartbreak is a very humbling feeling. it makes you remember that your heart is very fragile while at the same time very resiliant. i wish i could tell her that it will get easier with time. that my sister broke my heart into a million little pieces, but its slowly forming back into a whole... but i know that in matter's of the heart no words are comforting. time is key. (no matter how cliche that may be)

so i'm going to wipe away my tears, put on a little rouge and smile. because i have a beautiful family, amazing friends, endless love and health.

 

Comments

[danabrenklin]

[this is good] I hope you and your sister patch things up.  My little sister is deceased and before she was killed in a car accident three years ago she left home angry with our mother and we did'nt see her two years and some change before she was killed.  Now I tell everyone I know to cherish their relatives.  Especially cherish your siblings.  Hope it all works out.  My little sister put me on a pedestal too, that just what little sisters do, now you know she's not perfect.  God bless.

[cristina, no h.]

thanks much.... i'm definitely trying. right now she's stationed in Cuba (military) and will be back in 7 months. maybe the time apart will do us good.... i'm very sorry for your loss. 

[danabrenklin]

Thank you for that.  Hope it all works out, Keep God first and pray.  Keep me posted.